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Last week a former Royal Marine who is the boyfriend of the model Kelly Brooks crashed into a bus stop while driving a van carrying a load of dead badgers.

I mention this solely to remind you that linguists are not kidding when they say … that your command of English enables you to understand sentences that have never occurred before in the entire history of the human species.

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Geoffrey K. Pullum (via almostnonmetaphorically)

From Language Log, showing that novel sentences are possible even without colourless green ideas or friendly milk countermanding one’s trousers

(via allthingslinguistic)

I have to say I’m a little sad no one has highlighted the wonderful garden path of ~”the boyfriend of the model [that] Kelly Brooks crashed into a bus stop”, because crashing humans into bus stops is strangely hilarious and ending sentences before reaching a main verb is delightfully unsettling. 

(via allthingslinguistic)

(Source: risingtensions)

(Source: simontesla, via fuckyeahmst3k)

(Source: sean3116, via yellow-trickster)

(via ilovecharts)

(Source: windows95tips)

*6
Flipping through photos and I discovered the combined angles of two otherwise-terrible shots made a halfway decent wiggle GIF.
In other news, Mammoth Cave is pretty sweet.

Flipping through photos and I discovered the combined angles of two otherwise-terrible shots made a halfway decent wiggle GIF.

In other news, Mammoth Cave is pretty sweet.

booksandwildthings:

maratini:

ineptshieldmaid:

notcuddles:

valkyrien:

aflyingmotorbike:

synekdokee:

anglepoiselamp:

Is that the weather report?

*sighs*
Everyone knows we get lesbians every goddamn year, and yet every time they arrive people act all shocked. “I’m not ready for lesbians yet! I haven’t put lesbian tyres on my car!” Lady, it happens every year. You were warned beforehand. It’s your own damn fault if you end up in an accident because you weren’t prepared for lesbians.

seriously. so tired of being late for school just because the subway can’t handle lesbians. it’s norway! what do they expect

On the bright side, learning institutions will close in their droves as nations shut down due to the overwhelming presence of lesbians.

:sigh: But you have to make up lesbian days at the end of the school year…

I’ve been waiting for lesbians ever since the weather turned cold. I was promised 5cm of lesbians and DID I GET ANY? NO I DID NOT. Oh sure, there are lesbians up on the hills, but where’s my gorgeous carpet of lesbians, huh?

#how am I supposed to feel like it’s christmas time when there aren’t any lesbians outside at all

Every morning in the winter I wake up hoping to see lesbians outside my window.

Well the lesbians didn’t really stay on the ground very long, but luckily the lesbianplow made a big pile in our driveway and we got to make a lesbianman.

booksandwildthings:

maratini:

ineptshieldmaid:

notcuddles:

valkyrien:

aflyingmotorbike:

synekdokee:

anglepoiselamp:

Is that the weather report?

*sighs*

Everyone knows we get lesbians every goddamn year, and yet every time they arrive people act all shocked. “I’m not ready for lesbians yet! I haven’t put lesbian tyres on my car!” Lady, it happens every year. You were warned beforehand. It’s your own damn fault if you end up in an accident because you weren’t prepared for lesbians.

seriously. so tired of being late for school just because the subway can’t handle lesbians. it’s norway! what do they expect

On the bright side, learning institutions will close in their droves as nations shut down due to the overwhelming presence of lesbians.

:sigh: But you have to make up lesbian days at the end of the school year…

I’ve been waiting for lesbians ever since the weather turned cold. I was promised 5cm of lesbians and DID I GET ANY? NO I DID NOT. Oh sure, there are lesbians up on the hills, but where’s my gorgeous carpet of lesbians, huh?

Every morning in the winter I wake up hoping to see lesbians outside my window.

Well the lesbians didn’t really stay on the ground very long, but luckily the lesbianplow made a big pile in our driveway and we got to make a lesbianman.

(Source: darkrokkuman, via lawrencetheshark)